Princess Pauper
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"Happiness depends upon ourselves." - Aristotle
It is a funny thing - all the different reactions people have towards my current pregnancy. I will be 45 at the due date this December. I am happily married to my dear husband for 17 years with 3 beautiful little kids, our youngest having Down syndrome. I have to say, we are all very excited to have our 4th child, but many comments and questions I receive from others are interesting to say the least.
During many of those conversations, I am told that this is a change of life baby. I am then told of a story about another woman who became pregnant late in life and that she was upset to be in the position I am in. Yet I am full of joy, full of a new life, and feeling 10 years younger. My hot flashes and downward slide of peri-menopause have been replaced with natural estrogen, shiny hair, excellent health, glowing vibrant skin, and feeling 10 years younger. I have this strong feeling that this is such a gift, such a blessing, and I am filled with happiness daily.
Many of the other questions have to do with genetics, if there is a chance of having another Down syndrome child, and how I would feel about it. After raising my youngest daughter with Downs these past 5 years, I can honestly say that I would be overjoyed to have another Downs child in our family. Apparently this is not a normal response from the reactions I receive since most people view special needs as a burden, and a negative thing. But the fact is that our daughter transformed our lives these past 5 years. She has taught us so much about what is truly important in life, in the most simple way, and we all adore her. We have learned to live in the moment, love with the intensity of the sun, laugh often, take a chance and follow our dreams, and that it is the quality of life that is important, not the quantity. She touches others lives too, when she comes in contact with them, and we watch in amazement.
My youngest daughter loves all things Barbie these days, and has been listening to her Barbie Princess and the Pauper music CD repeated that we all know the words to each song now. One song in particular when the Pauper is singing to her cat always hits a nerve with me as I am belting out each word at the top of my lungs while we are singing together. The cat is different from other cats because he barks instead of meows. He starts to feel like he should be like all the other cats, and attempts fruitlessly to meow, until his Pauper realizes what he is doing, and sings a beautiful song to him about how she loves him just the way he is. She points out all of the wonderful things that makes him unique, makes him special, and makes him shine brighter than any of the other cats. She ends with how she would not change a hair on his head because he is perfect the way he is. I think about the words as I am singing, and watch my youngest child as she is singing away, smiling and clapping and my heart swells with love for her. So when I am asked how I feel if I have another Downs child, I cannot help but feel overwhelmed with joy and happiness at receiving such a precious gift.
We are responsible for our own happiness and we can decide to suffer from all of lives difficulties from health issues, never ending doctor's appointments, medications, finances, insurance issues, cognitive delays, therapies, potty issues, dietary issues, socializing issues, etc., or we can get our "chores" done and go on vacation everyday with our family. Simply take a drive, visit a garden, have lunch at a park, or even travel farther and enjoy the adventures of life with your kids.
It is up to us to decide to be happy, to see the beauty in the world, and to hear the sweet music of life every day. Perhaps someday, our inner joy will spread to others like a wildfire, teaching them what is truly perfect, and what we originally perceived to be perfect is actually flawed.
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