Ant Bully
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Your emotions are private
Do you lack self confidence?
Are you already on your way to build it?
Are you always self conscious because you are afraid the people will notice so?
If yes, know that your emotions are private and until you fix your problems, no one has got the right to know them, your emotions are yours, no one should be allowed to know what you feel except the people whom you choose.
Five signs that shows lack of self confidence
The following are some signs that show that you may be lacking self confidence, any person with above average experience will spot those signs and determine that you are lacking self confidence, make sure that you are aware of them.
* Giving reasons for your actions : suppose someone was having launch with a group of people whom he doesn't know very well, and suddenly he dropped his glass of coke on the floor. What will he do? , well some people will just start to give immediate reasons for everyone to explain why did that happen, by using comments like "oh, the glass was just beside the edge" or "oh, I am so tired today that's why I wasn't concentrating well". Know that confident people don't give reasons for their actions, if you dropped the glass or made a mistake, it doesn't change whom you are, know that its your right to mistake because you are a human and not a robot .
* Replying back immediately to criticism: I am sure that you have experienced a situation where upon giving a small critic comment to one of your friends he replied back immediately and aggressively. For example if you told him "your performance wasn't that good today" then he replied saying "no no no, its just because I was tired" or "no I was just thinking of something else while working and that's what caused it", that shows that he lacks self confidence, Confident people listen to criticism and see whether its constructive or not, if it was constructive they accept it else they don't bother much. Think of it when you meet a body building champion and you tell him "hey bro, you are weaker than an ant", what will he do? He will just smile and move away because he knows that he is a champion.
* Compensation: once I met a friend of mine and told him "hey you seem to be upset today" he replied, "I never get upset and i never have problems". What is that situation? Is my friend a super hero who is always happy? Of course not, he is just compensating for his lack of self confidence. Every one compensate in his own way, one person may become arrogant, the other may reply using the never word just like in the previous example, others turn to perfectionists.
Know that everyone of us have got his own weak points just like he has got his points of strength, you don't have to compensate for your weaknesses because no one is perfect.
* Body language : people who lack self confidence always take the defensive position ( arms folded and may be accompanied by crossing legs). Confident people rarely take this position unless they are offended or feeling cold so train yourself to forget about this position.
* Becoming a perfectionist : A perfectionist thinks that he lives in a perfect world so he tries to do everything perfectly, the problem here is that he may become upset if he got 99/100 in an exam!!!! , and that is because he thinks that unless he is perfect he may not become a worthy person, and so he is always upset because no one is perfect. Confident people are not perfectionists, they try to achieve success not perfectionism, if they got a "B" they may aim for an "A" but if they got 99% they wont aim for 100% .
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